Hi Friends,

I hope you are doing well.  Today I am writing about how  we see ourselves and how God sees us.  It would be great if these were actually the same, but we are made of flesh.  We have egos, and can be overly sensitive.  We also have spirits, which are made alive in Christ, when we are born again.  So we are a mixture of three things: the body, (our physical body); the soul, (our mind and our emotions); and the spirit, (the part of us which relates to God).

Just before a women’s conference, this past weekend,  God gave me a vision.  He knows what he is doing.  I needed to experience the women’s conference, to fully appreciate this vision.  I have discovered a bit more about myself.  We think that we are doing well, and suddenly we see that there are areas of our lives which need more healing.  How truly complex we are!  The soul is filled with thoughts and emotions that continue to live on through memories of past events.  By certain triggers, these memories can surface when you least expect it.

There is nothing like a women’s conference to stir up emotions and dig deep into our souls, to pull up things that were once buried.   Even though the subject may seem slanted towards  women, you will see that this message is for all.  Jesus, spoke to all, whether male or female.  So in that vein, I will attempt to do the same.

The Vision:  The Diamond Ring

I saw a woman’s hand wearing an emerald-cut diamond centered on a rose gold band.  The clear stone was fairly large, and the band was simple, but elegant.  She moved her fingers into a soft extension, and then gently brought the fingers back.

I thought of this ring as an engagement ring, after all we are the bride of Christ.  An engagement ring is a ring of promise.  Jesus as the bridegroom will one day return for his bride.  “In my Father’s house there are many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me, that you also may be where I am.”  John 14:2-3

The church is the Lord’s bride.  “Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”  Ephesians 5:25-27

He has promised us that we, who are born of the Spirit, will someday meet the Lord in the air:  “For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.  After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air.  And so we will be with the Lord forever.”  1 Thessalonians 4:16-17

The Lord’s promise to us is eternal.  It is based on our love and devotion to him, and the sacrifice he made for us on the cross.  It is truly a promise, that is worth more than can be expressed.  “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived -- the things God has prepared for those who love him.”  1 Corinthians 2:9 

As I think of the ring as a sign of a promise that the Lord gives to his bride, it is a very precious thing.  But I know that the Lord gave me this vision for yet another reason.  The Lord knows that in the natural, in the here and now, I would not see the ring in the vision, as something to be desired.  He knows that I find things that sparkle, and things that are “sissy” or “ultra feminine,” as gaudy, or useless.  If I am to be entirely open and honest, I would tell you that I reject such things as frivolous, and a waste of money.  I am pragmatic, and a minimalist who hates clutter.

From an artistic point of view, the ring was truly beautiful.  Although I am not taken by jewelry.  My birthstone is a diamond, yet, I have never owned a diamond, nor do I want one.  The band is pink, and a color that is loved by little girls, but a color that I would never wear. The ring is on a woman’s hand, and even though it is pretty, as far as jewelry goes, I would never wear it, for it is too ostentatious.  

The ring is like the women’s conference.  Something that other women enjoy, but something that does not appeal to me.  I was really dreading going.  I love the Lord, but I hate all the “silliness,” that goes on at a women’s retreat.  I hate the fact that the women presenters speak to grown women as if they were talking to small children.  I would definitely call it “baby-talk.”  I hate all the decorations, and trinkets, bracelets, and ribbons, and the little mementos.  I see it as worthless, and totally unnecessary.  I am not sentimental in the least and I find this visually annoying.

I don’t get pleasure from drinking tea with fine china, or wearing silly hats.  I find the stories told on retreats have the sole purpose of bringing one to tears, just for the sake of emotion.  

I have left more women’s retreats, than I have attended.  I signed up for this one with the idea that I would be getting to know the women in my church better.  But sure enough, in my attempts to conceal my thoughts on why I don’t like these retreats, I found myself complaining to one individual.  But rather than ruin her  experience of the retreat, I simply excused myself to find a quiet prayer room.  This is my normal way of avoiding conflict.  I simply pull away and pray, until my attitude changes.

Anyway, this retreat started out as all the others:  A little “skit” to make it “fun.”  And then a mention of all the cute little things they have planned for the ladies.  When I heard the main speaker giving us an outline of the retreat, I was ready to leave. 

She intended to review every retreat they had for the last 30 years - one year at a time.  I thought to myself, “I came here to meet with God, not to go down memory lane - ONE YEAR AT A TIME!”  Goodness!  I thought, “Why do they reflect on the past stories, and full descriptions of the decorations and  “fun” props they used at each one, instead of spending valuable time with God?“  I spent the evening and the next morning of the retreat in prayer, sitting on the floor in a remote location, because they intentionally locked the prayer room.   

After lunch on the second day, I decided that I should at least stay for a little while.  I reasoned that I could always leave and pray as I had done before.

The same speaker told a story of a baby pool, that they set up with a lady dressed as an angel.  The pool was to represent the pool of Bethesda, and the angel was to stir the water.  The ladies were to step into the pool to receive their healing.  As the story goes, there was a stampede for the pool, and one lady actually got healed!

Well, that caught my attention, and I thought, “Maybe the Holy Spirit is in this after all.”  

There were other stories, to which I related.  But there was a story that was truly remarkable, showing that the Holy Spirit was honoring what they were doing.

One woman, a nurse, shared her testimony.  She began by telling of her experience beginning with a woman’s retreat, several years earlier.  She said that each of the woman selected an object at random, upon which was written a scripture.  Each woman was told that the scripture that she had selected, was specifically for her.  The scripture written on her object read:  “And when they bring you before the synagogues, and magistrates, and powers, take no thought of how or what you shall answer, or what you shall say:  For the Holy Spirit shall teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.”  Luke 12:12 (Mark 13:9-11 and Matthew 10:18-20)

She said that some time later, she was approached by a man at church who gave her this very same scripture, saying that he felt that God wanted him to share it with her.  And after giving her the message, he asked her, “What is a magistrate?” 

By this, she said, “I knew it didn’t come from his imagination, but from God.”  She started to take the scripture seriously, believing that God was going to use her to speak to authorities.  How that might unfold, she had no idea.

Then she began to tell of how this scripture became fulfilled.  She was a nurse, attending a young Iraqi man in the hospital.  She saw that he was very bitter about his circumstances and that he needed to forgive others.  She explained to him that the Lord expected him to forgive, if he, himself, wanted to be forgiven.  She went on to explain, that when someone is able to forgive a great offense, he is released of bitterness, and the result can be emotional and physical healing.  He received the message, and believed that many others he knew could benefit from this message of forgiveness, healing and restoration. 

This young man had connections to powerful people in Iraq.  And  soon after this, she was invited to go to Iraq and speak.  She realized that God was using her to fulfill the promise of the scripture that she had been given.  She agreed to go, because she didn’t have to worry about preparing what to say.  She said to herself, “Well I don’t have to do anything, but open my mouth.  And God will give me the words to speak.”  So she went.

What truly amazed me about her testimony, was that she met with governmental officials in Iraq, just  as the scripture had said.  These officials were taken by the message, and so asked her to share her message with the leader of Iraq.  After meeting with him, the leader was fully convinced that she should share it with others around the country.  He told her that his people had been through a lot, and that the country needed healing. She agreed, and told him that their land lacked rain.  I am sure she was referring to both physical rain, and spiritual rain.  He then provided a caravan of cars, to take her to speak at more cities. 

As she traveled across the arid land, from one city to another, the rain fell!  City by city the rain preceded her!  Wow!  God used the rain as a trumpet to announce the arrival of this nurse - an ambassador of God.

“They were convinced by the power of miraculous signs and wonders and by the power of God’s
Spirit.”  Romans 5:19   

God will produce signs and wonders when we share the gospel.  God is about revealing himself to the lost: “I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me; I was found by those who did not seek me. To a nation that did not call on my name, I said, ‘Here am I, here am I.’”  Isaiah 65:1 

This woman’s testimony changed my opinion of the conference I was attending.  There was no denying that the Holy Spirit came during a previous conference, to give this woman a message,  a scripture, written on a small object.

During this conference, just like years before, each of us were to pick up a small chip of wood, upon which was written a scripture for each of us.  I left my reading glasses in the car, so I was unable to read it.  The woman to my right asked if she could help.  She looked up the scripture on her cell phone and read it aloud.  With all the emotion of the event, I just hung my head and cried.  The scripture crushed me.  I felt a failure in the Lord’s eyes.  Somehow I just limped through the remainder of the day.  

Later, we were to take a button from a fabric bag.  On each button was a word that was to describe us.  Again, this was another emotional trigger.  The word was “Dignity.”  This word can mean many things to many people, but the word for me, was very painful.

After I was baptized in the Holy Spirit, I became a worshiper.  I am still very much moved by the Spirit of God.  I dance, I shout, I cry, I sing in the Spirit, and on various occasions, I will pull people from their pews and have everyone dance around the room.  For years, every Sunday was filled with joy, and every Monday was filled with criticism.  The devil beat me up every Monday, “Who told you to be the cheerleader?  I bet the pastors think you are out of your mind.  Boy, did you look stupid!”  I would just cry and feel that I was an embarrassment.  I would ask God to forgive me, over and over……  After feeling completely defeated,  I would eventually say, “I may look ridiculous, and out of control, but Lord, I love you, and I can’t seem to help myself.  It’s okay, I will just be a fool for you.” 

I remember an associate pastor at the church I attended, came up to me one morning, with instructions saying:  “Stay in your pew, we are recording this service.”  It is moments like this when I feel like hiding under a rock.

Yet, even today, when the worship begins, I can’t help but sing and dance and shout my praise to God.  Fortunately, I am with like minded people, and a pastor who blows the shofar and encourage us to be sensitive to the Lord’s Spirit.  So singing, dancing and shouting are no longer a “problem.”

Going back to the word, “Dignity,” found on the button.  I know that dignity is not something that describes me.  Instead I am “a fool for the Lord.”  I prefer the song from the Brownsville Revival: “Undignified,”  inspired by the story of David worshiping as he brought the ark into the City of David.  His wife saw him, and was offended by his demonstrative worship: singing, dancing and shouting.  He wore an ephod, and took off his regal robes.  She thought he was foolish and undignified. 

“As the ark of the Lord was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window.  And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she despised him in her heart.” 2 Samuel 6:16

“When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, ‘How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around half-naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!’”

“David said to Michal, ‘It was before the Lord, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord’s people Israel—I will celebrate before the Lord.  I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes.  But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor.’” 2 Samuel 6:21-22 

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”    2 Corinthians 3:17

After all the emotion of the weekend, I got home from the retreat, and found the small wooden chip with the scripture.  I put on my reading glasses, and looked up the scripture.  I was familiar with this scripture, Proverbs 31:29.  And I read the verse—I was so elated and at the same time, such a cry baby, because I realized that the woman had read the wrong scripture to me.  The Lord did not want to crush me.  I was not a failure in his eyes.  But he wanted me to know that all was right between us.  Thank you Jesus!  You are so sweet to me!

What Did I Learn?

Well, I learned that what I considered foolish:  the trinkets, the ribbons and buttons, and “baby talk,” may seem foolish to me.  But I was wrong.  In the eyes of the Lord, these were things that God used to be “memory stones.”  The Lord used these things to bring messages to his people.  He used a baby pool and a lady dressed as an angel to bring a healing.  “But God chose the foolish things of this world to confound the wise.” ( or those who think they are wise - like me!)  1 Corinthians 1:27

And I also learned that I need to respect others for how they chose to honor God.  I feel bad when others look at me as annoying or foolish when I worship, so I must not speak against someone who thinks tea cups and silly hats are fun.    What one sees as worship unto the Lord, another one despises as foolish.  “But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word he has spoken.” Matthew 12:36

I want to encourage you to get away with the Lord.  Give God your time.  Develop your relationship with him.  As with any relationship, the more time you spend with someone, really communicating, the closer you become.  It is wonderful when you can say. “I am a friend of God.” 

Be blessed in all your ways!  Please share this with someone you know!  

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