Fitting In
Hi Friends,
Today is a beautiful day, the first day of Spring! A few flowers are popping up and the weather this week will be in the fifties! Hallelujah!
I have a vision to share with you today, which I received just a few days ago.
The Vision
The Spoons
In this vision I saw a spoon. It was the length of an ordinary teaspoon, but the bowl of the spoon was larger than a typical teaspoon. It was more like a tablespoon in size. I tried to nestle the spoon in with the teaspoons, but of course the spoon was too big to fit. Because the stem of the spoon was short, it did not fit well with the larger tablespoons either. It was unique to itself.
Suddenly, the view changed and I saw a woman with pure white hair speaking to me. Her face was very close to mine. She said to me, “I don’t fit in anywhere. I am neither this nor that. I feel alone and rejected.”
What the vision means:
I believe that the spoons and the woman in the vision are conveying one and the same message. The spoons do not physically fit together because the one spoon’s bowl is wider and larger than the teaspoons, and its length is shorter than the tablespoons. It is not one or the other. I believe that it is a soup spoon. The woman in the vision does not fit in either. She feels that because she is different, “neither this nor that,” that she feels alone and separated from everyone else.
There are many ways that people differentiate themselves from others. We naturally categorize and designate people for different tasks, based on abilities, or giftings, personality, or preference.
Usually we are not put off or upset by these natural differences that make us unique. And there are natural God-given attributes that are unchangeable, that we must live with and accept. Age, sex, race, ethnicity, intelligence, physical features and physical defects are a few of the things that are God-given, and to be accepted with grace.
There are developed abilities that come as we are trained and educated in various arts and skills: sports, music, artistry, the various trades, professions, and life skills are things that we learn that enhance our life and differentiate us from others.
But, each of us is unique. There is not another person just like myself, and there is only one you. If we know the Lord, and if we know the word of God, then we may have an easier time adjusting to the fact that he has made us the way he has. We are designed by him and we are not meant to conform to the world’s standards and values.
“But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, ‘Why have you made me like this? Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use? Romans 9:20-22
Bill Gothard, a Christian minister and founder of the Institute for Basic Life’s Principles, developed a seminar for young people and adults called “Basic Youth’s Conflicts.” His teaching was based on scripture and his life experiences. As a child, he had certain learning disabilities, and failing grades that proved his inadequacies. Yet his teachers, each year, continued to advance him to the next grade level. However, in his teenage years, he became born again and began to read and memorize the Bible. Day by day, he started improving in every subject. He was soon a straight A student and eventually became a leader in his class.
Because of his rocky beginnings and the miraculous change he underwent as he studied the word of God, he wanted everyone to realize that
“With God, nothing will be impossible.” Luke 1:37
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
Bill saw the fruit of his time spent with God and the studying of the Bible. He wanted others to know their identity in Christ and to have the peace and joy that comes from knowing him and the promises found in the word of God. Once he knew that he was made in the image of God, the world could no longer dictate to him what he could or could not do, for his identity came from God.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2
Bill developed his program to teach both young and old to value themselves through God’s eyes, not through the eyes of the world. We are not to say to God, “Why have you made me like this?” God made no mistake. He created you and placed you in a family and in a culture where you might thrive or you might be challenged to survive, and overcome. We are to accept the unchangeable things in our life: our age, our sex, our physical features, our gifts and our limitations. Everyday we can bring honor to God by living reverent and obedient lives to him. Through the knowledge of God and with the help of the Holy Spirit, we can overcome the lies that we hear coming from the world. The world entices us with things, and shackles us with its expectations and values. Everything that opposes God and undermines our faith and our freedom in Christ, all come from the world and its values.
“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.” 1 John 2:15-17
Even after many decades some adults still carry the wounds of their youth. Judging by the world’s standards, they see themselves as failures. Too many people are committing suicide. Too many people are hearing the voices of the world and attempt to change their sex, or harm themselves to escape the negative and hateful thoughts they have towards themselves and those that they blame.
The white haired woman in this vision, should by her age, be full of wisdom and able to help others mature and grow in their faith. But instead, she was living a wounded life. After all these years, having never received an inner healing, she continues to feel like a victim, blaming others for her inability to connect. If she continues to believe that she does not fit in - anywhere, it will be hard for her to overcome that mindset. Change is difficult when we do not take personal responsibility for our emotions and behaviors. If her circumstances are the fault of others, then she must be waiting for them to change. If she is responsible, then she can change. As it is, she remains stuck.
What part do we play in her healing? We must recognize her when she first comes to church. We must offer her the hand of friendship and help her to get connected with a group that will take her under their wing and love her. We should encourage her to pray, to read the Bible and to participate in small groups. We want her to feel safe and that when she is ready for prayer and inner healing, she will be open to it.
The Lord wants her and everyone like her to be set free. People often suffer, because they do not take control of their negative thoughts, and they refuse to forgive people who have hurt or offended them. They suffer because they do not know the Lord’s love and mercy that is available to heal them. They do not realize that by forgiving others, they themselves would be forgiven and set free. If only they knew the power of the word of God and its ability to transform and renew their minds. But if they do not read, they do not know.
“My people perish for lack of knowledge.” Hosea 4:6
“Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.” John 17:17
“If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’” John 8:31-32
“All Scripture is God breathed and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.” 2 Timothy 3:16
It is the word of God that transforms our minds, and changes how we think about ourselves and our circumstances. The word provides us with a new mindset.
“For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 2:16
In fact when we are born again, everything changes. We are given the Holy Spirit to indwell us and to be our instructor.
“When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you. All that the Father has is mine; therefore I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you.” John 16:13-15
When we have a renewed mind, we have peace.
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3
When we understand who the Lord is and what he did for us on the cross, we will love him. We will value our time with him and we will treasure his words.
But he answered, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Matthew 4:4
The process of transforming our minds into the mind of Christ, takes a while. Many believers fail to study the Bible and so they do not mature. They continue to be earthly minded. This can cause problems in the growth of the church. The lack of concern or hospitality that church members show to those who visit or who are struggling to fit in can cause people to be hurt or offended. Most people will only go where they are welcomed, or accepted. Everyone needs to make friends and to feel a part of the church, or they will become discouraged and leave.
Even in the early church, there were people who were marginalized. James addressed this in his letter to the church.
“My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, ‘You sit here in a good place,’ while you say to the poor man, ‘You stand over there,’ or, ‘Sit down at my feet,’ have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? But you have dishonored the poor man.” James 2:1-6
Peter also saw favoritism being shown to the Jewish widows over the Gentile widows in the distribution of food.
“Now in these days when the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint by the Hellenists arose against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution. And the twelve summoned the full number of the disciples and said, ‘It is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables. Therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty. But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.’ Acts 6:1-4
In the letter to the Corinthians, Paul saw that there was strife between members for several reasons. He wanted them to realize that they should accept each other’s differences because God placed them in the body for the edification of the church. They should be united while still being diverse in function.
“Just as a body has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.
Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.” 1 Corinthians 12:12-31
So, what is needed? Friendship? Acceptance? Peace? Love? Yes! All these things are needed, especially love. The Lord made a place for us, can we see that others can find their place too? After all, what was the Lord’s command?
“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12
Let’s make it a point to befriend the people who come to our churches and help them to feel welcomed and safe. Help them to fit into the body of Christ.
“From Him the whole body, fitted and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love through the work of each individual part.” Ephesians 4:16
We want everyone to grow in the Spirit of God and live by his power and victory. He came to set the oppressed free!
Thank you for reading. Please share this with others. God bless you!
