Conflicts — Forsythia!

Mar 7

Mar 7 Conflicts

Hi Everyone,

I hope you are well. Today I am writing about a vision concerning conflict. Everyone, if they live and breathe on this earth will experience conflict at some time in their lives. It is possible that you had a conflict earlier today or one perhaps last night.

Our conflicts are mostly between us and people with whom do not see eye to eye. But there are other conflicts that happen in our minds. We can feel that there is no solution to a problem. We can feel that no matter what we decide to do, the outcome will not be favorable. We can remain in a conflicted state for days, weeks or even months, depending on the circumstances. This is a breeding ground for stress, depression and even health issues.

We need to have a way out of conflict that addresses wrong thinking and that can offer a healthy solution to our problems.

This is the vision:

First I saw myself in a car. I exited the driver’s seat and walked around the front of the car. Then I took off the gloves that I was wearing and said, “I am not fighting with you.”

Next, I saw a wide shallow bowl with small pasta shells in front of me. The pasta was cooked and drained, but there weren't enough shells to cover the bottom of the bowl. I saw a hand with chopsticks strike the bottom of the bowl several times. Each time the chopstick hit the bottom of the bowl, the shells would jump.

Then I saw a man with a cowboy hat, standing on the bottom rail of a white gate. This gate was the entrance to a fenced in corral, that may have been at a rodeo or event, since there were so many people all around. The man lifted his body up over the gate and reached down to the ground with his hands. He did something, which I could not see, and then pulled himself back up and said, “I am done.”

This is what I believe the vision means:

The Car and the Gloves

I believe the car represents our life, the way in which we go, our habits and our ways of interacting with people. The gloves in general provide protection for our hands. Hands can represent our skills, our talents, our vocation, and our ability to help and be useful, or to fight and be defensive. The gloves cover those things our hands represent. When the gloves come off, the true nature, attitude or intention of the person is revealed. In the past, gloves were also used to formally insult someone by slapping them in the face, and inviting them to duel.

In the vision, I decided to get out of the car. I had it in mind to deal with the matter at hand. The way in which I was taking care of the problem, was to choose to not fight. "I am not fighting with you." I took off the gloves, I did not slap anyone in the face. I was trying to avoid conflict, by not engaging in further discussion.

I remember long ago, when an argument would break out among the kids in the backseat of our family car, my dad might shout out, in a commanding voice, “Don’t make me have to stop this car!” It would suddenly be very quiet. Peace was established. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.” Matthew 5:9

I know my dad was blessed, for he did become a "son of God," later in his life, for he became born again. Now his home is with God - Hallelujah!

In order to fully appreciate the vision, I tried to reenact the car scene, by placing gloves on my hands and sitting in a chair in the living room. As I exited the “car,” and walked around the front, I took off my gloves, and said, “I am not fighting with you.” I realized, by this enactment, that I wanted to leave my gloves on the hood of car, and walk away. I discovered at that point, that my method or manner in dealing with this conflict was to walk away, and to not fight.

When we have chosen to fight and we have lost a verbal battle, when we have tried through reason, to convince another person without success, or when we have given up hope for any chance of change, we may just throw up our hands and say, “It is over, I don’t want to fight, it is not worth the effort.”

This is a pivotal point in conflicts. Whatever resides in us that is stronger, will take over now. We have opposites at war for our hearts.

Will love or hate prevail? Will forgiveness or bitterness reign? Will Depression and hopelessness rule over understanding and what is right in the eyes of the Lord. We have a choice. Resentment and offense only lead to a hardened heart and a bitter root. But love covers over a multitude of sins. Love and forgiveness are the answers.

Chopsticks and Pasta

In the vision of the chopsticks and the cooked pasta shells, something seems very wrong. If the idea was to eat and enjoy the pasta, one would use the chopsticks as they were intended to be used. Simply to pick it up food and place it in the mouth. This was not the action that was taking place, however. The chopsticks were used to strike the pasta in the bowl. There was no intention of picking them up.

The chopsticks are tools to assist in feeding oneself. Jesus said, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work." John 4:34

He also said, “It is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.'” Matthew 4:4 To be truly healthy, the food we eat must be nutritious, not only food for the body, but also food for our spirits. That perfect food is the word of God.

The person pounding the plate or bowl with the chopsticks, was acting out, what was coming from inside him. Jesus said, “What goes into a man’s mouth does not defile him, but what comes out of his mouth, that is what defiles him.” Matthew 15:11

“But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean.’ For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what make a man ‘unclean.’” Matthew 15:18-20

We are instructed with these words: "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

We can encourage ourselves knowing that, a change in habits, and automatic responses to conflict, can be made with the help of the Holy Spirit. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

When we are angry, we have evil thoughts. These thoughts lead us to become offended, and offense leads to resentment. These "renegade" negative thoughts, must be captured and brought to nothing. As we spend time in the word of God, and allow the word to take root in our heart, when negative ugly thoughts arise, especially in moments of conflict, we will be able to judge these thoughts and correct our attitudes. Then we will be in a better position to choose the right path to resolve the conflict. The word changes us and we respond differently. Having the right attitude, or "heart condition", can change the outcome of our conflicts.

The Cowboy

The cowboy was on one side of the fence. Then he leaned over the fence so far that his hands were on the ground. I was not able to see what he was doing, but when he finished, he said, “I am done!”

What did he do? I didn’t see it. But what do cowboys do when inside a corral? Sometimes they break horses so they will take a saddle and a rider, and sometimes they rope and brand cattle. At a rodeo, they compete in these skills.

The words, "I am done," indicates that some task is finished. It expresses the idea of finality. When the game is almost over, and all seems lost, and we are ready to throw in the towel, we may say, ”I am done.” These are my very words, when I feel everything that I could possibly do to resolve a conflict has been done. I say, "I am done." It is my mode of operation, when I find a situation that has no solution, and yet I have tried everything, I choose to leave the problem behind, and to make a change.

It is similar to taking a timed test. When there is not much time, and you cannot solve the problem, you leave it blank and move on. This is great advice for test taking however it is not necessarily good advice for every problem. Moving on may bring new individuals, and new environments into your life, but if you haven’t grown through the experience, then more than likely, history will repeat itself.

God loves us as we are, but he also wants us to grow and mature as his children. He will allow these same or similar circumstances to present themselves, over and over again, until we learn to give our problems to God. “Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, from I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Just as a cowboy must break a horse to be able to ride him, the Lord must break us, so we may be useful to him. Sometimes the words, "I am done, I give up," are necessary words for us to say. These words indicate that we have finally reached the end. We are now ready to hand over the problem to God. This is the moment when we are finally broken. We say, "Lord it's all yours, I can't do another thing. I have tried, but now, I really need your help."

Why do we wait? Why don’t we simply give our problems and conflicts to God in the beginning? His shoulders are bigger than ours. When we give him our problems and difficult situations, he gives us his peace. What a trade! “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

I would like to share the lyrics to an old Christian hymn that speaks of conflict, sorrow, and pain, and the peace that comes with prayer.

What a Friend We Have in Jesus https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znWu2HCJ92c

Alan Jackson

What a friend we have in Jesus

All our sins and griefs to bear

And what a privilege to carry

Everything to God in prayer

Oh, what peace we often forfeit

Oh, what needless pain we bear

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer

Have we trials and temptations?