Running Away
Today, prayer time was intense. It seemed God kept showing me vision after vision, I was afraid that I would not remember all that he showed me this morning. These are the things that I saw:
1. A large slab of what looks like concrete, 4” thick and 12’ x 12’ square, I am adjusting and moving it into position to give a covering over something - perhaps making a roof for a shelter or carport. Yet there are no visible corner supports. I move it so easily, as if it were a styrofoam slab made to look like concrete.
2. Next I take my black coat and place it on my lap to cover my legs.
3. Then I see my blue blanket draped over a woman pastor’s shoulder. As the pastor walks towards me, I somehow know that she is coming to help me.
4. Next I am inside a van, looking at the sliding door. My focus is on the back vertical edge of the door. I study the door for a moment, attempting to memorize its curves.
5. Then I am inside a room, preparing to exit through a white door in front of me. I open the door, and discover that it leads to a pure white closet, not an exit. From what I can see, the closet seems to be empty.
6. Next I see a large woman attempting to climb over a chain-linked fence. She has one leg over the fence nearly ready to touch the ground.
7. Then I see myself carrying a shotgun under my arm.
8. Then I am looking into the opening of a rectangular plastic storage container. By its size and shape, it is designed to hold a large “sandwich loaf” of bread. I open the container, as one would open a door set on its hinges. I see that the contents are just a collection of small objects. It appears that the objects are somewhat organized within the container.
9. Next I take my two fingers, and follow the curves that are formed on the sides of a car. The curved line is graceful, flowing from the tail lights forward. However the slope changes and suddenly drops downward with the curve ending just before the driver’s door.
10. Then I see myself holding a stack of perhaps 25 perfectly cut pieces of fabric. They appear to be neck facings. I hold them in my left hand, and I see them fall limp. I begin to cry. Everything is fruitless, futile, worthless, for no purpose what so ever. I see everything as meaningless. Then, while still in the vision, I remember Ecclesiastes, the book written by Solomon. “Meaningless! Meaningless!”
11. Then I am inside my car backing up from a parked position. I see someone behind me, so I quickly stop. The person I am about to hit is me.
The vision, has several major themes. One of its messages is this: To chase dreams that are not purposeful for the building of God’s kingdom have no eternal worth. It is just a chase after the wind. “‘Meaningless! Meaningless!’ Says the Teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless!’ ….’I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.'” Ecclesiastes 1:2 and 1:14
A scripture that I think of often is this, “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world the love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world - the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life - comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.” 1 John 2:15-17
Here is another: “For, “All people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord endures forever.’ And this is the word that was preached to you." 1 Peter 1:24-25
This is what I believe the vision's parts mean:
The “Concrete” Slab
This represents a covering. It is not concrete; it has little strength and little weight. It might provide shade to the space or vehicle underneath, but is not tied down. In a wind, it would blow away. The “covering” is not adequate. If it were to fall it would in all probability break upon impact. It is made to resemble concrete, but for what I intend to do with it, it is entirely impractical. If I were to build a roof with this product, there is no doubt it would fail.
What are we to build? We are here to build the kingdom of God. “ For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved - even though only as one escaping through the flames.” 1 Corinthians 3:11-15
The Black Coat
Unlike the slab above, the coat is an appropriate covering for the cold. However, most people would choose to put the coat on, in the normal manner. I place it over my legs for warmth, when I leave my blanket in the car. I use the coat most the year, because air conditioning is cold too. This part of the vision, shows God’s provision. “For your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” Matthew 6:8 In this case, I need to stay warm.
The Blue Blanket
I use the blue blanket everyday during prayer, wrapping it around my body or across my lap like the coat above. because the temperature in the morning is cool. In the vision, my blanket is not with me, but I see it draped over the shoulder of a woman pastor who also leads prayer. This could represent a mantle, as the power and authority of Elijah. Elisha his protege, asked for a double portion of his spirit. When the mantle fell from the sky, Elisha, picked it up and immediately began to walk in the authority of Elijah. In the vision I believe that God is showing me that the pastor carries authority, and that authority is a result of prayer. Prayer is a necessary prerequisite to authority:
“Why couldn’t we drive it out?”
“He replied, ‘This kind can come out only by prayer.’” Mark 9:29
By this scripture, we see that the authority to cast out demons, comes from prayer. So my blue blanket, represents both prayer and authority. The Bible tells us that all authority is God given. So even though the blanket belongs to me, I need to submit to authority. God is showing me too, that when we submit to authority, we are able to receive the Lord’s help. As in the vision, I knew that the pastor was coming over to help me.
The Sliding Door on a Van
The interior side of any car is highly sculpted, with very few straight lines. From a three dimensional standpoint, there are really very few planar surfaces, other than the floor. I was studying the curves of the vertical edge of the door far from the latch. Why was this fascinating to me? Because it is a design challenge to alter an interior space to fit its end use. Again, I must mention my preoccupation with tiny living spaces.
The van, and it’s challenging interior surfaces is a building project. Am I building the kingdom of God or am I distracted with a project and prefer it to the one God would rather have me do? “Is it a time for you yourselves to be living in your paneled houses, while this house remains a ruin?” Haggai 1:4
This is a reminder, to not get caught up with the work of our choosing, and not accomplish what God commands us to do: build the kingdom of God!
The Closet Door
There are times when things go wrong - when disappointment, feelings of remorse or worry come into play, I often look for a way out. Even though I ask God to “Take me away or to hide me,” God brings his comfort and mercy, and provides the grace to continue on.
In the vision, I was expecting the door to be an exit, but instead it was a closet door. The pure white closet had little if any contents. I like closets to be nearly empty. My desire was to leave - instead, I was shown the closet. God was in effect saying to me, stop trying to leave your problems behind, and pray instead. The empty, pure white closet was an invitation to pray and to draw close to him. In his presence, our problems diminish. What a wonderful trade, we give God our problems and he gives us peace!
The Woman and the Fence
Next I see the body of a large woman, from the shoulders down, who is attempting to climb over a chain linked fence. It is not conclusive as to whether she will get the job done without a mishap. At least one foot is nearly reaching the ground. The question that comes to mind is “Why would a large woman choose to climb a fence in the first place?” It seems there should be a more appropriate way to get to the other side. She must be highly motivated to do this. Perhaps she believes this is her only way to escape, or she is in dire need to get somewhere.
I remember climbing over a chain linked fence in college, as a shortcut, but in the process, I ripped my pants on the fence. I learned my lesson, and I have only rarely and with extreme caution attempted to climb over a fence.
The fence represents a barrier. There are barriers in our life for a reason. God places difficulties in our path so we learn to persevere. “But we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces, perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5:3-4 Running away from problems is not the best solution.
The Shotgun
Next I see that I am carrying a shotgun under my arm.
A shotgun, fires buckshot, or small pellets. When the pellets fly from the barrel, they spread out in multiple directions. The shot is fired in a general direction, assuming that some of the shot would hit the mark. I believe that in my attempts to try to find a suitable enterprise, I have been firing in all directions, hoping that something would workout. So far the doors that I have attempted to walk through have remained shut to me. I believe God purposefully closes doors, when the things we want to do, would take us away from him and from his purpose. God wants us to be devoted to him, and to help build his kingdom. “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’”Isaiah 55:8
The Small Plastic Storage Container
The container is shaped like a “sandwich loaf” of bread, so one should expect bread inside. However there is no bread. There are only small objects, balls, pencils, among other things, that appear to be organized inside the container. Because the opening is at the end, the container does not serve the function of storing small items well. To get something from the back of the container, you would have to dump everything out first, Then, you would have to take the time to re-pack, each and every time you wanted something. This is a vision showing the futility of doing work that is unimportant and wastes time. The Lord values things that are eternal. Even though there are necessary things we must do everyday, he does not want us to spend time doing work that serves no real purpose and keeps us from doing the things he has already asked us to do. Futility and wasting valuable time seems to be a re-occuring theme.
The Lines on a Car’s Body
Next, I take two fingers and follow the line down the side of the car.
It is as if I am admiring the graceful lines formed by the car’s design. But the line drops quickly as it reaches the driver’s door, similar to the path of a curve ball that drops just before the plate. A line on a graph that drops suddenly can mean things are “going downhill.” I believe the car represents material possessions in general. My eye was captured by the graceful lines like a man captivated by an attractive female. This captivation represents covetousness. Not only is the car attractive, but it offers a means of escaping, or getting away.
We know that to covet anything is sin. The Lord wants us to be content with what we already have, and to remain in the circumstances in which we find ourselves. Paul said, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Philippians 4:11
The Lord said to a few soldiers, “... be content with your pay.” Luke 3:14
“Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them.” 1 Corinthians 7:17
Fabric Pieces
I am holding a stack of fabric pieces. I look at them clenched in my fist. Then I curl my arm up to my shoulder. At once the fabric just falls limp. Suddenly, I am full of despair, and start to cry. Everything seems hopeless in these visions. It seems overwhelming.
The fabric represents all the various attempts at pursuing different career paths. I look at the stack of fabric pieces clenched within my hand, and as if they were a dumbbell, I bring them to my shoulder like a biceps curl. It could have been as a show of strength, but as I held the fabric it fell limp. A sign of weakness. My despair was in the totality of the previous visions. I felt as if I could not handle the rebukes; the visions were too much for me. I lost it emotionally. At that moment, I realized everything that I had been doing was useless, and a waste of time, totally futile.
Backing Up the Car
The final portion of the vision was backing up the car.
The direction that the car was going, was backwards, it is another vision of escaping or leaving behind. However, I had to stop immediately, when I saw myself behind the car. I was in danger of backing the car over myself!
Once more, God’s message came through, “Do not try to escape or leave your problems, you will be the one that gets hurt.” I understand. We cannot run from God’s purpose.
“The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: ‘Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.’ But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord.” Jonah 1:1-3
We may not be commissioned to do something like Jonah was commissioned to do, but nonetheless, we have to be obedient to God, with whatever he has told us to do. He will equip us, and be with us in our trials. Our lives are but brief moments, here on earth, and eternity is forever. Let’s keep our eyes on Jesus. He will see us through!
These are a few “conclusions,” or summaries from both the Old and New Testaments:
“Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.” Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship.” Romans 12:1
“Jesus replied: ’Love the Lord your God, with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37
“He said to them, ‘Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.’” Mark 16:15
What more is there? Love God, love one another, preach the gospel and offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God.
This is simple. We make life complicated. When we are weak he is strong and I can do all things through Christ who give me strength!
Amen!!
